davidad

How to Get Outside

This weekend promises beautiful weather, so I thought I’d post this little guide about how to get into a location where that weather can be enjoyed.

How to get Outside

1. Follow your local fire evacuation plan, assuming maximum fire severity.
2. As you migrate to the safe area, keep a sharp eye about for two things:
   1. Alarmed doors. It is usually possible to find an alternate route that bypasses these doors, and unless there is an actual fire, you should do so to avoid embarrassment.
   2. An enormous ceiling overhead that looks different from any other ceiling you have ever seen (except possibly in Walt Disney World). This is called the sky.
3. When you find the sky, immediately stop following the evacuation plan and take a good look around.
4. Walk anywhere you like, as long as you keep that sky directly above your head. If you see it start to disappear, you’re leaving outside. If you wanted to stay outside, no matter how strong force of habit may be, slowly turn around and walk in a different direction.
5. Have fun!

Comic idea (one frame)

Lucille Ball is seated at a dinner table, trying to eat spaghetti with a spoon, and failing. Desi, across the table, says, “Use the fork, Luce!”